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You will be reincarnated as a toad; and you will be much happier.

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Q: How many Microsoft Vice Presidents does it take to change a light bulb?
A: That's proprietary information. Answer available from the Microsoft Guenuine Advantage site upon payment of license fee (binary only) and re-validation of proper license verification through our "Ultra-Secure" targeted investor structured environment page.

The random quotes and random fortunes are a culmination of my own and others from around the planet. Some are from the past and some may be from the future. (I'm working on a simple random sentence generator that will hopefully make it's way into the quote generator.)